ChuckHuck Facts

This is a list created by some cat named Chase Cooper writing for the Indiana Daily Student. (Whatever the Hell that is)

Fact: Chuck Norris is so corny that ethanol producers believe him to be a vast, untapped source of alternative energy.
Fact: Mike Huckabee calls himself a Republican, but functionally he’s a pro-life Democrat. He’s a big government, tax-and-spend proponent of the Nanny State, who supports a nationwide smoking ban, government-sponsored wellness programs and more government regulation of private industries, such as minimum wage increases. He also has a grossly liberal record on illegal immigration.
Fact: Chuck Norris is so painful to watch that nine out of 10 Americans would rather take a roundhouse kick to the face from him than sit through an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger.”
Fact: Mike Huckabee granted over 1,000 pardons and commutations during his 10 years as governor – roughly one clemency every four days. In 17 years, Huckabee’s three predecessors – which included Bill Clinton, by the way – granted only 507 clemencies combined. The Huckster’s clemency recipients included violent criminals who reputedly “got religion” in prison. Should this man have the power of the presidential pardon?
Fact: Chuck Norris is so pathetic that Jack Bauer tracked and killed him in only 21 hours, then took a three-hour nap.Fact: According to the Arkansas Leader newspaper, Mike Huckabee, while governor of Arkansas, raised more taxes than Bill Clinton did while governor of Arkansas. His tax record is so bad that even the members of the Arkansas Republican Assembly chose to endorse Fred Thompson rather than Huck. When the Club for Growth, a prominent conservative anti-tax organization, sharply criticized his tax record, Huckabee responded by calling them the “Club for Greed.” There’s nothing greedy about the concept that the money you’ve earned belongs to you.
Fact: Chuck Norris is such a bad actor that even Keanu Reeves flips the channel whenever he sees Chuck on TV.
Fact: Mike Huckabee has little to no foreign policy experience. When confronted with this fact in an interview with Don Imus on Dec. 4, the Huckster stated, “I may not be the expert that some people are on foreign policy, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.” If he likes Holiday Inn Express so much, I’d much rather he sleep there than at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Fact: A Huckabee nomination would be disastrous to the conservative movement, the Republican Party and the United States of America, and the Democrats would almost certainly take the White House, regardless of who they nominate. If conservatism is to be advanced in the next four years, the Republican Party needs to chuck Huck – soon

For real, is anybody not tired of these guys' shtick? If you saw Huckabees speech post-Iowa, Norris was standing in the backround, and it was never explained why he was there. I thought it looked really, really, stupid.

Hat tip to http://www.clubforgrowth.com/